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Matt Kalil Sues Ex Over the “Three Cans” Comment | Satirical Song
Letras
Matt Kalil played in the NFL, a really big dude
A nice guy, friendly, not rude
Seven years married, then she files for divorce
She didn't like something, had remorse
In a pod-cast, she spilled the beans why
Very private, I'm not gonna to lie
One quote turns loud, the internet roars
Something private hits the courtroom floors
Two Coke cans stacked, maybe three
That's the story flying wild and free
Almost three cans tall, that's just insane
That's bigger than a stick, larger than a cane
Most would brag, but he just sued
She needs it smaller, wants another dude
Remarried now, new life begun
Kids, calm days, the chapter done
But November hits with a viral sound
Suddenly three cans are going round
Size metaphors shouldn't hit the stand
Yet here we are with cans in hand
Privacy going global, people joke and play
Sharing that for millions is not okay
Two Coke cans stacked, maybe three
That's the story flying wild and free
Almost three cans tall, that's just insane
That's bigger than a stick, larger than a cane
Most would brag, but he just sued
She needs it smaller, wants another dude
Most men cannot brag that loud
Avoid the shower, take a different route
But this man has other issues
It needs a huge towel, not just tissues
Privacy cracked, the world now jokes
About things that are private, folks
Two Coke cans stacked, maybe three
That's the story shared for you and me
Almost three cans tall, now the world knows
That's a story shared between friends and foes
Most would brag, but he wasn't amused
Hated that, felt betrayed, felt used
Did they consider a medical pittstop?
A reduction in size, or two girls and one cup?
This is a private affair, so lets end it here
But gossip won't end, have no fear
This is a private affair, so lets end it here
But gossip won't end, have no fear