Congratulations

I heard he popped the question

I heard that you said yes

I hear you're gonna sink

Twenty K into that dress

I hear you're signing up

For a morning indoor spin

To fit into a dress

That you'll never wear again

What else can I say?

Congratulations

Y'all are on a plane now

For a week long honeymoon

It's an all inclusive stay

How creative of the groom

Where there ain't too much to do

At a sandal resort chain

Read your magazines by the pool

'Til you gotta come in from the rain

What else can I say?

Congratulations

Congratulations my friend

This is how it all ends

The next fifty years

Are gonna be a ball

No things did not add up

When you signed the prenup

But at least you got

Pictures in the hall

What else can I say?

Congratulations

Now you've come back to Earth

Since you got back to town

Traded in that negligee

For a fleece nightgown

You're often in the kitchen

And in the laundry room

Just a cookin' and a cleanin'

A domesticated tune

At least you got your spare time

And your weeknight TV

Escape all you want girl

It ain't gonna set you free

I hear your man is off and gone

To Vegas with the boys

Well you call him on the cell phone

You can't hear him over the noise

What else can I say?

Congratulations

Well I heard you had enough

And you filed for a split

It's only been eighteen months

But you might as well just quit

I'm sorry that it's over

I'm sorry you're alone

But you cannot build yourself a life

Trying to keep up with the Jones'

What can I say?

Congratulations

What else can I say?

Congratulations

What else can I say?

Congratulations