Mungojerrie & Rumpleteazer (Guide Vocals)

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer

Were a notorious couple of cats

As knock-about clowns and quick-change comedians

Tight-rope walkers and acrobats

We have an extensive reputation

We make our home in Victoria Grove

It is merely our centre of operation

For we are incurably given to rove

If the aerial window is found ajar

And the basement looks like a field of war

If a tile or two comes loose on the roof

Which presently ceased to be waterproof

If the drawers are pulled out from the bedroom chest

And you can't find one of your winter vests

Or after supper, one of the girls

Suddenly misses her Woolworth pearls

Then the family'll say, "It's that horrible cat!"

"Was it Mungojerrie?"

Or "Rumpelteazer?"

And most of the time they leave it at that

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer

Have an unusual gift of the gab

We are highly efficient cat burglars as well

And remarkably smart at a smash and grab

We make our home in Victoria Grove

We have no regular occupation

We are plausible fellows who like to engage

A friendly policeman in conversation

When the family assembles for Sunday dinner

Their minds made up that they won't get thinner

On Argentine joint, potatoes and greens

Then the couple appear from behind the scenes

And say in a voice that is broken with sorrow

"I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow

The joint is gone from the oven like that!"

Then the family'll say, "It's that horrible cat!"

"Was it Mungojerrie?"

Or "Rumpelteazer?"

And most of the time they leave it at that

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer

Have a wonderful way of working together

And some of the time you would say it was luck

And some of the time you would say it was weather

We go through the house like a hurricane

And no sober person could take his oath

"Was it Mungojerrie?"

Or "Rumpelteazer?"

Or could you have sworn that it mightn't been both?

And when you hear a dining room smash

Or up from the pantry there comes a loud crash

Or down from the library comes a loud ping

From a vase which is commonly said to be Ming

Then the family'll say, "Now which was which cat?"

"It was Mungojerrie"

And "Rumpelteazer"

And there's nothing at all to be done about that

And there's nothing at all to be done about that