Macavity: The Mystery Cat (From "Cats")

Macavity's a mystery cat, he's called the Hidden Paw

For he's the master criminal who can defy the law

He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the flying squad's despair

For when they reach the scene of crime, Macavity's not there!

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity!

He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity

His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare

And when you reach the scene of crime, Macavity's not there

You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air

But I'll tell you once and once again, Macavity's not there!

Macavity's a ginger cat, he's very tall and thin

You would know him if you saw him, for his eyes are sunken in

His brow is deeply lined with thought, his head is highly domed

His coat is dusty from neglect, his whiskers are uncombed

He sways his head from side to side with movements like a snake

And when you think he's half asleep, he's always wide awake!

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity!

For he's a fiend of feline shape, a monster of depravity

You may meet him in the by-street, you may see him in the square

But when the crime's discovered, then Macavity's not there

He's outwardly respectable, but I know he cheats at cards

And his footprints are not found in any file of Scotland Yard's

And when the larder's looted or the jewelry case is rifled

Or when the milk is missing or another beak's been stifled

Or the greenhouse glass is broken and the trellis past repair

There's the wonder of the thing: Macavity's not there!

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity!

There never was a cat of such deceitfulness and suavity

He always has an alibi and one or two to spare

For every time the deed took place, Macavity wasn't there

And they say that all the cats whose wicked deeds are widely known

I might mention Mungojerrie, Rumpelteazle, Griddlebone

Are nothing more than agents for the cat who all the time

Just controls the operations, the Napoleon of crime

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity!