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January first my wife told me she was leavin' for my brother
Said she'd found herself true love or some such shit or other
February she brought her lawyer, slick son of a bitch in a suit
Told me I'd be lucky if I walked away with my boots
In March she got the house and kids, all I got was the road
Moved into a single-wide, the cheapest one they showed
In April I'm backin' out at dawn, blind in the mornin' fog
Heard the crunch under my tire, that was the end of my dog
What a cunt of a year, Lord what a cunt of a year
You couldn't make this shit up if you tried, I swear
Can't wait to see the back of it, get it outta here
I've been livin' through a grade-A, triple-X, gold-star cunt of a year
In May I threw my back out loadin' boxes off a truck
Herniated disc or somethin', doctor said I'm fucked
In June they gave my job away to somebody who ain't broke
Now I'm sittin' in this trailer like a goddamn joke
July the old man had a heart attack out fishin' on the lake
By the time they found the boat it was already too late
August Mama died in bed, they said her heart just quit
Lost my folks in six weeks, this year's a piece of shit
What a cunt of a year, Lord what a cunt of a year
You couldn't make this shit up if you tried, I swear
Can't wait to see the back of it, get it outta here
I've been livin' through a grade-A, triple-X, gold-star cunt of a year
September I got the diabetes, doctor wrote it down in ink
Insulin's two hundred a vial and I can't afford a drink
October they repossessed the truck, said "you're three months behind"
Watched 'em tow it down the road, bout lost my fuckin' mind
November I got too drunk and fell asleep fryin' up some spam
Burned the whole damn trailer down, now I'm livin' in a van
Then December a buddy texts a link I wish I didn't see
It's my daughter on OnlyFans, final fuckin' nail for me
What a cunt of a year, Lord what a cunt of a year
You couldn't make this shit up if you tried, I swear
Can't wait to see the back of it, get it outta here
I've been livin' through a grade-A, triple-X, gold-star cunt of a year
What a cunt of a year, Lord what a cunt of a year
You couldn't make this shit up if you tried, I swear
Can't wait to see the back of it, get it outta here
I've been livin' through a grade-A, triple-X, gold-star cunt of a year
"Happy New Year my fuckin' ass!"