The Ballad of Ted and Calista

Ted and Calista were brother and sister

So it begins

They got frustrated with just being related and wished to be twins

It didn't matter that she was much fatter and he was a man

Despite a few quibblings, these curious siblings came up with a plan

Sunday and Tuesday they'd wear her clothes

Wednesday and Friday they'd wear his

What happened on Saturday can't be repeated but people would stare

And say hey, look!

There goes that mixed-up, muddled-up, shook-up pair

Calista and Teddy took pride getting ready

A pride that is rare

She wore the trousers and ironed their blouses

While he did their hair

They always looked dashing in suits always flashing

A glimpse of their thighs

If anyone shouted, they soon would get clouted

And brought down to size

Sunday and Tuesday they'd wear her clothes

Wednesday and Friday they'd wear his

What happened on Saturday can't be repeated but people would stare

And say hey, look!

There goes that mixed-up, muddled-up, shook-up pair

They'd parade themselves through the town

Even though their heels gave them blisters

The world would be a more colorful place

With a few more Ted and Calistas

Sunday and Tuesday they'd wear her clothes

Wednesday and Friday they'd wear his

What happened on Saturday can't be repeated but people would stare

And say, hey, look!

There goes that mixed-up, muddled-up, shook-up pair

In the stilettos there!

Hey, look!

There goes that mixed-up, muddled-up, shook-up pair

In the pin-stripe three-piece!

Look! There goes that mixed-up, muddled-up, shook-up pair

There they go!