Polka Dot Undies

Well, I went for a drive in my pickup truck

I picked up my girl, 'cause I wanted to

Show her my gloves, 'cause she had on her mitts

And I blushed brightly when she showed me her

Perfume that she buys whenever Avon calls

So I took off my pants, and I showed her my

Polka-dot undies

My polka-dot undies

Yeah, my polka-dot undies from Miracle Mart

I said, "Look, be careful, I think I'm gonna

Turn a sharp corner, and go up on the grass"

She leaned out the window, and I thought I saw her

Pointing to something that flashed by real quick

She said, "Hey, look at that, it looks just like your

Polka-dot undies"

Polka-dot undies

Yeah, my polka-dot undies that I wear back-to-front

She smiled, and she said, "Have you seen my

Brother's new car, and the one that he stole?"

Then she asked me to look up her

Whole damn family, and I went into shock

Oh, when I found out it was her sister who really liked

Polka-dot undies

Polka-dot undies

Yeah

Well, I took her out to dinner, but on one thing she was firm

She'd swallow almost anything, except for

Stories that her brother didn't like birds

But hung around leather bars, and liked to eat

Fish and chips, and he still sucked his thumb

I said, "I don't mind," and she kissed me on my

Polka-dot undies

My polka-dot undies

I kissed her softly, and I said, "I'll tell you what

Let's roll up the windows, and I'll eat your

Last bar of chocolate, but the one that's in the parcel"

She said, "No, no, no," and she called me a taxi

And I said, "I beg your pardon

But get me home real fast before I lose my

Polka-dot undies"

Polka-dot undies

The moral of this story, like a jewel it is gleaming

But you'll never find it in a glass of warm

Milk or tea, 'cause it will not fit

And you probably already think I am full of