Letras
Well it's Christmas Eve down in the holler cold as a well-digger's ass
I'm sittin' on the porch with my AR and a fifth of Eagle Rare in a mason jar glass
Heard a clatter on the roof thought it was them damn meth-heads again
So I flipped on the floodlights and yelled Boy you done picked the wrong piece of land
Santa Claus is trespassin' flyin' low over my no-fly zone
I got Second Amendment rights and a thirty-ought-six of my own
Eight tiny reindeer? Hell that's eight tiny steaks on the hoof
By mornin' they'll be jerky hangin' in my shed smokin' with mesquite and hickory proof
This is 'Merica fat man This here's private property
Next time read the No Solicitin' - That Means You Kris Kringle sign on my tree
He come down the chimney hollerin' Ho ho like he owned the place
I racked a round in ol' Betsy and put that jolly right in his face
Told him Cookies are fine but you ain't leavin' presents on my land without a warrant
He tried slippin' me a Xbox - buddy I hunt with a bow I don't need no foreign electronics
Santa Claus is trespassin' thought he could land on my roof without askin'
One warning shot through the sleigh - now it's wrapped around a pine tree crashin'
Them reindeer started scatterin' but my hounds run faster than elf magic
Got Dasher and Dancer in the cooler Prancer's in the smoker - tastes just like venison I jus' gotta have it
This is 'Merica fat man - castle doctrine stand-your-ground Christmas cheer
Next year bring a deed to the North Pole or stay the hell outta here
Mrs Claus called the phone cryin' talkin' 'bout some international incident
I said Ma'am tell the elves we accept payment in gold or black-powder increments
Hung up cracked a Busch Light threw another log on the pit
If the UN wants my jerky recipe they can kiss my star-spangled grit
Now my shed's full of reindeer sticks labeled Comet - Teriyaki and Cupid - Cajun Hot
Got a new red coat hangin' on the wall - velvet makes a helluva gun rug best one I ever shot
Kids down the road still believe in Santa that's fine let 'em goof
I believe in property lines cold beer and the right to process whatever lands on my roof
Yeah Santa Claus was trespassin' learned a hard lesson 'bout flyin' armed airspace