Death Is Just a Call Away

I was raised in California in the middle of a desert

In a house that was smaller than a classroom

When I was eleven I never thought

That I would've been alive at eighteen

Due to my sadness

So many times I'd scream "fuck my life"

And cut myself

While crying inside of my bathroom

But even with a mind like this I've learned to be happy

So don't you dare try to tell me there's something I can't do

I wish there was a way

To know you're in the good ole days

Before they've passed you

Before they've passed you

I wish to God I could go back in time

And tell myself

"Ahead is a bumpy ride

So hold on tight

But don't forget to enjoy the ride"

And now I hold this mic

Inside these lyrics are my whole life

Wish I didn't spend my whole life

Hoping to die

Wish I could've tried

To appreciate being alive

And I wonder what's the meaning

Cuz I'm always overthinking

Until I'm sick of feeling feelings

If I got an issue then I'm thinking

Of course it's something I felt

So

Maybe my problems are not even real

I need to put a halt to this whole ordeal

But I feel what I feel

But I feel that I feel too much

Because it's always either that

Or it's never enough

But I'm done with these bottles

And I'm done with these pills

I'll deal with it myself

Keeping my cabinets filled

Now I'm genuinely happy and I wake up with a smile

Used to cut myself

Haven't done it in a while

They telling me I don't know what i want

That I'm just a child

That my dreams are wild

Out of the frying pan

And into the fire

I know what I have is a mental state

And it isn't my fault

But dealing with it should be