My Son Deserves Better

(Intro – Soft, Broken, Real)

This ain't a song — it's a promise I keep

Every time I look at you while you sleep

I see the man I shoulda been in your face

And the man I was — filled with shame, not grace

(Verse 1)

I missed your first steps high out my mind

Noddin' in the hallway, losin' time

Mama called, said, "He asked where you been"

I said, "Tell him daddy workin'" — I was workin' a sin

I was knee—deep in needles, buried in snow

While you was watchin' cartoons, waitin' on me to show

I left toys unopened, birthdays passed

All for a high that never fucking lasted

You smiled in them pictures, but I wasn't there

Physically, maybe — but my soul ain't care

And I see it now, through a sober lens

I was a poison to the only one callin' me friend

(Chorus)

My son deserves better than a dopefiend dad

Better than lies and the love he never had

Better than empty chairs and glassy eyes

Better than me watchin' him grow from the side

He need a man, not a ghost in the room

A hero, not a story tied to a spoon

So I'm fightin' these demons and burnin' that letter

Cause fuck this shame — my son deserves better

(Verse 2)

You used to bring me crayons, say "Draw with me, Pop"

But I was busy breakin' down a rig I couldn't stop

You said, "Why your arm got bruises, why you sleep all day?"

And I'd lie through my teeth like that shit's okay

But you ain't stupid — you saw more than you should

And I hate myself for every time I misunderstood

You needed love, you needed light

I gave you shadows and a padlocked night

I remember you cryin' through the trailer wall

While I was itchin' on the couch, chasin' one last call

You needed bedtime stories and a lunch to pack

But I was searchin' for a vein I could barely track

(Chorus)

My son deserves better than a dopefiend dad

Better than tears from a love gone bad

Better than pain he ain't choose to feel

Better than wonderin' if love is real

He need truth, not a junkie's excuse

Need footsteps that don't lead to abuse

So I'm cleanin' this soul like I clean my dresser

One day at a time — my son deserves better

(Bridge – Vulnerable)

I ain't askin' for medals, ain't askin' for cheers

I'm just beggin' for a future without your tears

One where you proud to say my name

One where you never question if you're to blame

I'll hold the pain if it sets you free

I'll carry the shame if it sets you free

But I swear to God, on this blood and sweat

I'll give you the father you ain't met yet

(Final Chorus – Strong, Emotional)

My son deserves better than the man I was

Better than guilt dressed up as love

Better than nods and fake—ass "I'm fine"

Better than scars that I passed down in time

So I'm breakin' the chains, I'm facin' the mirror

I'm wipin' the fog so I see you clearer

You gave me purpose when I had none ever

You saved my life — my son deserves better

(Outro – Spoken Word)

If I can't do it for me

I'll do it for you

Because every time I look in your eyes

I see the man I still got time to become