Weed Instead of Roses

Baby, we've been together

For a long, long time

You get home from work

And then we just turn out the lights

Lately, I've been dreaming

You in leather, me in lace

Let's put up the teddy bears

And get out the whips and chains

Give me weed instead of roses

Bring me whiskey instead of wine

Every puff, every shot

You're looking better all the time

I don't need a card from Hallmark

Box of candy, heaven knows

Give me weed instead of roses

And let's see where it goes

Honey, you don't have to worry

There ain't no one else for me

Lately, we have fallen under the same routine

I ain't getting any younger

Or buddy, you don't seem to care

Let's trade in the boxers

For some sexy underwear

Give me weed instead of roses

Give me whiskey instead of wine

Every puff, every shot

You're looking better all the time

I don't need a card from Hallmark

Box of candy, heaven knows

Give me weed instead of roses

And let's see where it goes

Let's send the kids to grandma

Call in sick to work

Put on some heavy metal

Rip the phone off of the hook

Go call your no-good brother

We both know what he's been growing

I'll be waiting with the whipped cream

And baby, let's get going

Give me weed instead of roses

Give me whiskey instead of wine

Every puff, every shot

You're looking better all the time

I don't need a card from Hallmark

Box of candy, heaven knows

Give me weed instead of roses

And let's see where it goes

You pull out the Polaroid

And I'll strike a couple poses

Or let's get a little wild

Bring me weed instead of roses