Full Life Crisis

Life moves pretty fast

Just when you think you're like halfway done

That's when you need to kick it into another fucking gear

YEAH

Here's some instructions on how to ruin your life

First you should cheat on your wife

Then take the weed in your pipe

Add a little bit of spice by lacing it with coke

Make sure to save some for your nose

And friends that are broke

If you don't have those, well buddy, you soon will

You'll be borrowing money like FDR's new deal

Steal some new wheels, race 'em up hills for thrills

While crushing up pills, snort that stuff up your grill

Act like nothin' will kill ya, nothin's important

Cause nothing on earth's gonna stop this boredom

Pop off at an orgy, stream it cause porn's free

Ride in on a wheel chair yellin' I'm rolling horny

Get as many abortions as you can possibly get

Then chop off you dick and pop on a wig

Rock some fish nets, implant fake tits

Solicit a cop, get 'em in his cuffs and spank him

This ain't mid life crisis, it's full life crisis

I'mma blow more cash than the price is right is

While you blow my hog, I blow up like Isis

Snorting blow so raw it rolls up my eyelids

This ain't mid life crisis, it's full life crisis

I'mma blow my lid n never try to find it

Gettin' blowjobs til I blow loads of my kids

Blowing how I handle shit like the virus

What's in the starter pack that you need to quickly mess up your life

An army jacket and a military wife

Make sure to marry early before either of you are fully formed adults

Only thing better's being born into a cult

Aggravated assault on an officer? Check that

Gang affiliations on full display? Rep that

Experiment with drugs early, before your frontal lobe matures

Then make some babies with some undevoted grrrrls

Spend money, don't save, til you're funds are in utter shambles

Here's the secret on how to recover: GAMBLE

Subscribe to the "Let go and let God" mentality