Colorado Kool-Aid

I was sittin' in this beer joint down in Houston, Texas

Been drinking Colorado Kool-Aid and talkin' to some Mexicans

And we was... Uh, what's that you say?

What's Colorado Kool-Aid?

Well, it's a can of Coors, brewed from a mountain stream

Why hell, it'll set your head on fire and make your kidneys scream

Ooh, it sure is fine

Yeah, and we was having ourselves what you call

One of them real good times

But you know, every beer joint that you've ever been in

Some big mean drunk, who just ain't got no friends, sure enough wants to fight

Yeah, he gon' whoop everything in sight

Well, sir, he took him a big cold swaller of beer

And he walked over and spit it in my Mexican's friend's ear

Well, now, sure enough, that made my buddy real mad

'Cause, that's something like he ain't never had

Well, sir, he pulled out a big long switchblade knife

And quick as a whistle, he begin to slice

And that big mean drunk stood back; his face full of tears

Lookin' down at the floor at one of his ears

Hm, well, he cut that thing off even with the sideburn

Now you might say that that little old Mexican fella just didn't give a dern

But he was a gentleman about it

He bent over with a half-way grin, he picked it up and handed it back to him

And he said, "now, big man, you get the urge to spit a little beer

Just open up your hand there and spit it in your own ear

Won't be no trouble that way"

That's what I heard him say

And I said barmaid, set us up a round of that Colorado Kool-Aid

And while you're up there, bring this fella a box of Band-Aids

Now, let me tell ya, if you ever ridin' down in south Texas

And you decide to stop and drink some Colorado Kool-Aid

And maybe talk to some Mexicans

And you get the urge to get a little tough

Let me tell ya, you better make damn sure you got your knife-proof earmuffs

Hey, ain't that right, big man? I said, ain't that right, big man?

Oh, hell, he can't hear, not on this side anyway, he ain't got no ear

Hey, barmaid! Bring us a big glass of that Colorado Kool-Aid

How about it, how you doin', big man?

You still got your ear in your hand?

Hehehe, gee Lordy