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Somewhere inside them bad Florida pines
There's a town with a chalked on name
Little white church and a real tight curve
On the edge of a field full of grain
Preacher was a stand-up man
Shakin' hands every Sunday morning at the door
Loved his congregation
But he ran an operation
Sellin' more than the word of the Lord
Called it holy water
Holy water
He bought a brand new Lincoln
Had a couple deacons thinkin'
It was more than he could afford
Knew something was up
When he was shuttin' his trunk
At the church around one in the mornin'
He was out of sight
They snuck around inside
They found a door leadin' under the ground
Popped a lock on the latch
Walked down and flashed their lights
Guess what they found?
A cellar full of holy water
No one knows where it comes from, buddy
But you can find it anywhere from 'Bama to Kentucky
Got the whole damn southeast side of the country
Linin' up to pay top dollar
Jar tops twist when the sun starts settin'
Burns like hell, gets you high like heaven
Lord, have mercy if they knew where they were gettin'
That holy water
Deacons pulled up to his house
In a truck with the proof all crystal clear
Tried to play it off but he knew he was caught
So he said, "Brothers, listen here
You can call the law or you can keep a secret
I'll cut you in and we can call it even"
Next Sunday mornin' 'round ten o'clock
There was two more Lincolns in the parking lot
No one knows where it comes from, buddy
But you can find it anywhere from 'Bama to Kentucky
Got the whole damn southeast side of the country
Linin' up to pay top dollar
Jar tops twist when the sun starts settin'
Burns like hell, gets you high like heaven
Lord, have mercy if they knew where they were gettin'
That holy water
Now there's new stained glass
New pews front to back
Nobody even asks no questions
Sign out front with some letters
Readin' John chapter two verse one through eleven