Butt Ugly Slut

Eagle, buzzard, sparrow, crow

Take me down where the winds don't blow

I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem

And a jealous old man in jail

I want one so ugly she'll crack a mirror

And so fat she'll knock a needle off a scale

As long as she'll buy me a new Zebco

I don't care if she's built like a blue whale

I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem

And a jealous old man in jail

Lord, she's ignorant but she's ugly

Yeah, she's lazy but she's mean

I've been to two tent revivals and a chicken fight

And I ain't never seen nothin'

Like when my little wildebeest

Tears into a dozen jelly-filled Krispy Kremes

I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem

And a jealous old man in jail

I want one so ugly she'll crack a mirror

And so fat she'll knock a train off a rail

Hell, I don't care if she cheats on me

Long as she sends me checks in the mail

I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem

And a jealous old man in jail

I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem

And a jealous old man in jail

And a man