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Eagle, buzzard, sparrow, crow
Take me down where the winds don't blow
I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem
And a jealous old man in jail
I want one so ugly she'll crack a mirror
And so fat she'll knock a needle off a scale
As long as she'll buy me a new Zebco
I don't care if she's built like a blue whale
I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem
And a jealous old man in jail
Lord, she's ignorant but she's ugly
Yeah, she's lazy but she's mean
I've been to two tent revivals and a chicken fight
And I ain't never seen nothin'
Like when my little wildebeest
Tears into a dozen jelly-filled Krispy Kremes
I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem
And a jealous old man in jail
I want one so ugly she'll crack a mirror
And so fat she'll knock a train off a rail
Hell, I don't care if she cheats on me
Long as she sends me checks in the mail
I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem
And a jealous old man in jail
I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drinkin' problem
And a jealous old man in jail
And a man