Nasty Nursery

Come to the nursery

Come and meet my friends

Come and see the animals

And all my odds and ends

Say hello to my friends

Although they cannot speak

They're just like Baby Jesus

Silent, mild and meek

Open up my toy-box

It's full of lovely things

Like the Christmas fairy

Till I tore off her wings

I'm just a tiny little boy

I don't know wrong from right

At least that's what they tell me

As they hold me tight

My fossil collection

Is really very new

I starved all the hamsters

I thought their bones would do

Please shake hands with Teddy

I know he has no head

He had to be punished

When he was late for bed

I'm a golden headed prattler

I'm pure as driven snow

I'm just a free spirit

Don't impede my flow

One day I'll grow up

And I'll stop torturing toys

I'll make toys that torture

Other girls and boys

One day I'll grow up

And soothe my parents' dreads

I'll tip-toe down the corridor

And kill them in their beds

Don't blame, correct or chastise me

Don't check or list my faults

Or so say my parents

Those darling, darling dolts