Heaven Is a Halfpipe (If I Die)

If I die before I wake

At least in heaven, I can skate

'Cause right now on Earth I can't do jack

Without the man up on my back

Now heaven would be a DJ

Spinnin' dub all night long

And heaven would be just kickin' back

With Jesus packing my bong

And if you don't believe in Jesus

And Muhammad or Buddha too

And while the world is warring

We just sit back and laugh at you, singin'

If I die before I wake

At least in heaven, I can skate

'Cause right now on Earth, I can't do jack

Without the man up on my back

Now, when most people think of heaven

They see those pearly gates

But I looked a little closer

And there's a sign that says, "Do not skate"

So, if you wanna come to my heaven

Well, we all gonna have a ball

And everyone you know is welcome

'Cause we got no gates or walls, singin'

If I die before I wake

At least in heaven, I can skate

(Heaven is a halfpipe)

'Cause right now on Earth I can't do shit

Without the man fuckin' with it

Then, I go to the gate

Pulled out a list that I'd been callin' fate

I'm sorry, friend, you can't come in

You got a list here that doesn't end

You're mad 'cause I smoke dope

You're teachin' any classes in how to cope

I'll find a place to rest my head

I'd rather be alone now that I'm dead

Like Christian Hosoi way back in '87

We'll be bustin' Christ Airs until we get to heaven

You think I really care that I missed biology?

Got my education in stalefish-ology

With all your rules, you got to chill

I'm gonna twist out like Mike McGill

Gonna twist out 'cause I've got the skills

Gonna twist out 'cause I've got the skills

(I got the skills, got the skills)

(Got the skills, got the skills)

(Heaven is a halfpipe)

If I die before I wake