Paddy McGinty's Goat

Now, Patrick McGinty, an Irishman of note

Fell in for a fortune, and he bought himself a goat

Says he, "Sure of goat's milk I'm going to have me fill!"

But when he bought a nanny home, he found it was a Bill

All the young ladies who live in Killaloe

They're all wearing bustles like their mothers used to do

They each wear a bolster beneath the petty coat

And leave the rest to Providence and Paddy McGinty's goat!

Mrs. Burke to her daughter said, "Listen, Mary Jane

Who was the lad you were cuddling in the lane?

He'd long wiry whiskers all hanging from his chin"

"Twas only Pat McGinty's goat, " she answered with a grin

Then she went away from the village in disgrace

She came back with powder and paint upon her face

She'd rings on her fingers, and she wore a sable coat

You'd bet your life she didn't get those from Paddy McGinty's goat

Now, Norah McCarthy, the knot was going to tie

She washed all her trousseau and she hung it out to dry

Along came the goat and he saw the bits of white

And chewed up all her falderals upon her wedding night

"Oh turn out the light quick!" she shouted out to Pat

For though I'm your bride, sure I'm not worth looking at

I'd had two of everything, I told you when I wrote

But now I've one of nothing, all thro' Paddy McGinty's goat

Mickey Riley, he went to the races t'other day

He won 20 dollars and he shouted, "Hip Hooray!"

He held up the note, shouting "Look what I've got!"

The goat came up and grabbed it and he swallowed up the lot

"He's eaten me banknote," said Mickey with the hump

They ran for the doctor, and they got a stomach pump

They pumped and they pumped for that 20 dollar note

But all they got was ninepence out of Paddy McGinty's goat

Now old Paddy's Goat had a wonderous appetite

And one day for breakfast, he had some dynamite

A whole box of matches he swallowed all serene

Then out he went and swallowed up a quart of paraffin

He sat by the fireside, he didn't give a hang

He swallowed a spark and exploded with a bang