My Stupid Boyfriend

My stupid boyfriend can't find his own house on a map

My stupid girlfriend can make any question a trap

My stupid boyfriend wants Mommy to pick up his room

My stupid girlfriend fills each day with impending doom

Oh, if only they'd come to a sudden end

Then you could be my stupid girlfriend

My stupid girlfriend thinks sex is some kind of sin

My stupid boyfriend drinks only the stinkest gin

My stupid girlfriend just mubbles in her private code

My stupid boyfriend takes any excuse to explode

Oh, if only they follow the overdose trend

Then you could be my stupid boyfriend

My stupid girlfriend takes hours to make up her mind

My stupid boyfriend is always one sentence behind

My stupid boyfriend loves nobody more than himself

My stupid girlfriend's in love with her pet magic cow

We don't even like them, so why pretend?

When you could be my stupid boy/girlfriend

Oh, if only they'd come to a sudden end

Then you could be my stupid girlfriend