Piece Of Bologna (Remastered 2005)

Two Irishmen and a Newfie once went out for recreation

They carried enough provisions along to last a week's vacation

But they got lost up in the woods, the night was dark and lonely

And all of their provisions ran out, except one piece of bologna

Now one guy said, "You must admit there is no use in carving

There's not enough provisions left to keep us all from starving"

"I suggest we go to bed and tomorrow," said Maloney

"Whoever has the nicest dream, he eats the piece of bologna"

Next morning when they all awoke at quarter after seven

One guy said, "I had a dream, I dreamed I went to Heaven

I met St. Peter at the gate, he was ridin' on a pony

Now I don't think you can beat that dream, so give me the piece of bologna"

Oh, the other said, "I had a dream and it was a double feature

I also died and went to Heaven and was welcomed by St. Peter

He rushed at me, stuck out his hand, sayin', 'Put it there, Maloney'

Now, I don't think you can beat that dream, so give me the piece of bologna"

Ah, the Newfie said, "I must admit, it's true that you were dreamin'

The reason why I know it's true, I was dreamin' of you all evenin'

I saw you two go up above, and gee, but I was lonely

I thought that you would never get back, so I got up and ate the bologna"

I hope this will be a lesson to you if you go out for recreation

Make sure you take along enough grub to last for the duration

The story that I told to you, I hope you don't think it's phoney

'Cause there's always a smart Newf around and there's always a piece of bologna

Yes, there's always one smart Newf around and there's always a piece of bologna!