Help Me Lord

Help me Lord,

I need help!

I Keep these feelings,

All the pain to myself.

I don't know why,

I can't help it.

It's all here with me,

It's so damn selfish!

My wife,

My son,

They're all so worried and…

All I can do is go through life blurry.

Now my Daddy he loves,

But he doesn't hear me?

He wouldn't understand,

He's oldschool and this is just silly.

But it's not me,

"I didn't do this!"

I didn't crack my head shit in it,

Say "You can do this!"

I didn't rip my chest tear my heart,

Say "You don't feel this!"

I didn't break my body destroy it,

Say "You won't need this!"

Help me Lord,

I need help!

Going out in public,

The people,

There's so many.

Pretending it's just me,

But the people,

There's so many.

Suppressing this anxiety,

So iffy,

There's so many.

Imagining life as a movie I'll be forgetting.

Going through life as a movie is just coping.

Seeing this life as a movie,

Is this concerning?