Birthday?

It's my birthday, guys, let's go

Alright, anyway

Yeah, it's my birthday but the ceiling won't blink

Microwave singing in a permanent wink, yeah

I put candles on a sandwich, let it think

Blew 'em out sideways, now the carpet can't sink

Okay, uh, I RSVP'd to my own surprise

Showed up late with invisible fries

Everybody clapped but nobody arrived

Piñata full of keys to a beehive

It's my birthday, gravity bent

Wrapped my presents in government rent

Confetti in my cereal bowl

Now the spoon's tryna file parole

It's my birthday, don't make sense

Got balloons paying monthly rent

Cake so loud it learned to rap

Frosting filed a tax return back

Woke up older but my shoes still five

Calendar crying like it barely survived

I high-fived the cloud, it applied for a job

Told the sun, "Calm down, you're doing too much, Bob"

Yeah, got candles shaped like question marks

They whispered secrets to my shopping cart

Invited Mars but it needed a ride

So I Ubered to the Moon, now it's parked outside

My shadow brought me socks as a gift

Said, "I knit these from emotional drift"

Doorbell rang, it was yesterday

Said it left its wallet in the Milky Way

I'm unwrapping boxes full of air

Smells like Tuesday and electric hair

Grandma sent a card from 3022

Said, "Happy birthday, we remember you"