Southern Accent

It's great to be in Jackson, see, I don't even have to enunciate tonight, that -

Because in a lot of parts of the country, you know, people hear me talk

They automatically want to deduct 100 IQ points

Because apparently the southern accent's

Not the world's most intelligent sounding accent

You know, and to be honest, I mean

None of us would want to hear our brain surgeon say

I know, what we all we're gonna do is

Saw the top of your head off

Root around in there with a stick

And see if we can't find that dad-burnt clot

He's like, no, thanks, I'll just die, okay

See, that's why southern financial advisors have such a tough time

Nobody wants to give their money to somebody that talks this way

Well, the key is you've got to diversify with your money

What we'll do, we'll take half of it, put it in a big mayonnaise jar

Bury it out in your backyard

The other half we'll take down to the dog track

And bet on the one that does his business right before the race starts

And you know, we're not stupid in the South

I mean, we have words in the South

They don't have in other parts of the country

My brother will use this one, used to could

Can you dance? Well, I used to could

You give me a minute, I might could again

I'll tell you a good southern word, in there

My Uncle Gene will say that usually when he comes

Out of the bathroom after Thanksgiving, I wouldn't go in there if I was y'all

And I know you heard this with somebody

You go see somebody you haven't seen in a while

You go up to them, and they go, how's your mom and them?

Tellable

I'll tell you, my granddaddy would use the word, "Ewins"

Which is y'all plus three, that's what that is

I think my current favorite southern word is sensuous

Told my old lady, sensuous up, get me a beer