X telling me about the loss of something dear, at age 16

I looked up at the ceiling the entire time

Well it didn't last for long

Like 15 minutes or so

They had said it would hurt, but it didn't

His face all grumped up, veins were showing on his forehead

Closed my eyes and thought of dancers

Closed my eyes and thought of dancers

I thought of what my friends would say

I thought of how my life would change

I just laid real still there on the bed

Afterwards I said, like I hear you're supposed to

"Was it good for you as well?"

He was proud, said "Okay, we can do it again

And maybe this time, you can do it better than this

You can do it better than this

You can do it better than this

I know you can do it better than this"

I faked to come, 'cause I hear you're supposed to

There was obviously something wrong with me

And I didn't want him to know

I was scared he'd have a heart attack and die

I went to work at the shoe store and waved him goodbye

I felt sad, but I didn't know why

Do you want those in red, I said

250 with laces, I said

Years later, I can still envision that forehead