Capital Letters

Resisting the urge to carve 'bitch' in capital letters into my thighs

Do you know how hard it is to write in cursive with a knife?

Just when I think I'm getting better

I trip and stumble and think about letters

I could've wrote to myself

You didn't write for long enough to be upheld

By myself

I'm hanging on by my pinkie

You see all the qualities I never see

I'm not saying its a privilege to be with me

But when you offered me some help I had voice that would scream

Run, run, run, they are trying to trick you

And I scream run, run, run, they will dismiss you

I am greater than the sum of my parts

Sometimes I feel like I'm falling apart

And I am scared, I am scared, I am scared of being put into check

I wish that I

Knew exactly who I wanted to be all along

Then maybe I wouldn't got picked on

When I was young

People would talk to me for fun

They thought it was funny

I was just a child

And I was naïve

I couldn't make friends

Oh how my heart bleeds

I became toxic

And I became vile

I worked real hard to stop this for a while

Now you're sat here holding my face

Telling me everything is gonna be okay

And I can't bring myself to believe you

I can't bring myself to believe

Just when I think I'm getting better

I cannot sleep and think about whether

I should leave this all behind

Everybody hates you and you shouldn't have pride

In myself

I was everything that you shouldn't be

I have a small case of disaster disease

I'm not interested in being interesting

I just think I ought to be more like myself at this mo

I think you're worthless

I think I don't think I deserve this

Your songs aren't as good as you think

I was in the bathroom crying into the sink

I think you're worthless