COLD N NUMB

I been tryna feel somethin' but I stay cold numb

Heart heavy from the past so I stay rolled up

All this pain in my chest got me so slowed up

Mondazed fightin' every demon that done showed up

Yeah I took a couple pills just to calm my mind

Tryna run from all the shit I left far behind

I been stuck inside a hell that they can't define

But I'm crawlin' out the dark this my bottom line

I was down real bad couldn't sleep at night

Cold sweats from the stress that I'd try to fight

Pain hit too deep had to dim my light

So I reached for the drugs just to feel alright

Talk heavy but they don't know my withdrawals

Shakin' on the floor tryna answer these calls

Momma worried 'bout me thinkin' I'ma lose it all

But the devil in the bag had me back on fall

Pop one then another just to numb that ache

My heart breakin' every time that the high would break

And the truth hit hard like a tidal wave

You can't heal no wound with the shit you take

I was drownin' in emotions I could barely name

Tryna medicate the trauma that became my flame

Everybody see the wins but they skip my pain

Now I spit it in the booth let me bleed my name

I been tryna feel somethin' but I stay cold numb

Heart heavy from the past so I stay rolled up

All this pain in my chest got me so slowed up

Mondazed fightin' every demon that done showed up

Yeah I took a couple pills just to calm my mind

Tryna run from all the shit I left far behind

I been stuck inside a hell that they can't define

But I'm crawlin' out the dark this my bottom line

Opiate thoughts had me stuck in a trance

Tryna chase a high that was killin' my chance

Face pale stomach tight couldn't even stand

Withdrawal hit harder than any grown man

Throwin' up in the sink vision goin' blank

Feelin' every life choice that I ever tanked

Just to numb old wounds that they never thanked

But the pain didn't leave it just switched its rank

I was prayin' for a break from the scars I grew

Feelin' swallowed by a storm that I never knew

Tryna tell myself a lie like I'll make it through

But the drugs hit fast like they always do

Then I sat in the mirror saw the death in my eyes

Felt the weight of every friend that I watched die

Said Mondazed if you stay on this path it's goodbye

So I fought that shit back til the well ran dry

I been tryna feel somethin' but I stay cold numb

Heart heavy from the past so I stay rolled up

All this pain in my chest got me so slowed up

Mondazed fightin' every demon that done showed up

Yeah I took a couple pills just to calm my mind

Tryna run from all the shit I left far behind

I been stuck inside a hell that they can't define

But I'm crawlin' out the dark this my bottom line

Cold numb but I'm still here breathin'

Drugs took time but they ain't beat my reasons

Pain made storms but it made my season

Mondazed stand tall this my pledge to leavin'