Lazy Susan

Oh, Lazy Susan

Don't you wish you had a job to do?

Don't you worry about yourself?

So, Lazy Susan

Eating chocolate in the afternoon

Don't you worry about your health?

Well, you're married to Mr Right

But he's never in on a Saturday night

They say that's what you get when

You're with a policeman, love

He's been sweeping it under rugs

And collecting backhanders

From doormen in clubs

He said he never forgets a face

But he's blind to you

And Susie knows just what to do

Susie's father was a constable too

Oh, Lazy Susan

So accustomed to a holiday

Don't you blow that whistle now

So, Lazy Susan

What will the neighbours say?

If you break your wedding vow

They're gonna notice your change in luck

You tell them you backed a winner

At the Cheltenham Cup

I heard that witness protection's

Not what it used to be

Well, you traded in your trust

And your second-best Audi

Is gathering dust

You've got a card that'll get you

Out of jail for free

And Susie knows just who to see

There's a launderette

For dirty money

I hope you get away with all your plans

And maybe end up somewhere

In the South of France

Sipping rosé with your Riviera Man

Oh Lazy Susan, you're not so lazy after all

Oh Lazy Susan, you're not so lazy after all

Oh Lazy Susan, you're not so lazy after all

Oh Lazy Susan, you're not so lazy after all