The Weight Of Waiting

She throws her shade with softened hands

Little cuts dressed up as plans

Cheap shots built on twisted threads

Make me doubt what's real instead

I keep the house, I hold the peace

Light the hall so he can sleep

But every night's another war

And I can't tell what's true no more

This is the weight

Of waiting

Of bleeding

Without explaining

Of walking eggshells

Room to room

Of giving calm

When I've got fumes

And if I break

It won't be loud

Just one more wound

I'm not allowed

She speaks like I should feel ashamed

Like silence means I'm playing games

But I'm just tired, down to bone

Three hours sleep, then build a home

And somewhere out there, far from this

There lives a love I didn't risk

Still in my chest, still undefined

Still hoping time might shift the line

This is the weight

Of waiting

Of loving

From behind the glass

Of holding back

To hold the ground

Of staying soft

When being drowned

And if I fall

No one will see

Even a quiet man

Still bleeds

I don't scream

I don't chase

But I know when truth gets rearranged

There's a reckoning

I won't delay

But it won't come

On her terms

Or today

This is the weight

Of waiting

Of building

While breaking

Of being blamed

Without reply

Of holding fire

To keep him dry

And if she leaves

I'll still stand clean

Because even quiet men

Still

Bleed