Corn on the Cob

I went to the fair with a nickel and a dime

Bought me a cob, had the best dang time

Butter on my fingers, butter on my shirt

Slipped on the cob and fell face-first!

Corn on the cob, it don't make sense

Gets stuck in my teeth like a white picket fence

Nibble it fast, or nibble it slow

Kernel in my nose - how'd it get in there though?!

Grandma eats corn with her dentures out

She gums it to death while the kids all shout

Uncle Joe deep-fries his in lard

Now he's banned from the picnic in the churchyard

Corn on the cob, oh lordy me

I flossed for an hour, still stuck at tooth three

Drippin with butter, rollin like a hog

I'd trade my paycheck for corn on the cob!

Some folks fancy steak, some folks like cake

But give me that corn till my belly ache

Line up them cobs, I'll eat a whole squad

Prayin to the butter gods, "Dear Lord!"

Corn on the cob, ahoe ahoe ahoe!

Juice on my chin and it's drippin on my toe

Don't need no diamonds, don't need no job

I just wanna live on corn on the cob!

Yeah, shuck me, chuck me, butter my knob

Life's real funny with corn on the cob!