Nicknackatory

First of all we must establish contact.

I've no thirst for fame or a lavish contract.

I'm a chappie with a sunny disposition,

With a taste for fine wine or a funny expedition.

To the club of Lorbodello with a sweet tobacco smello,

I can taste it as we speak, it stays with me for weeks!

The simple things in life come when I paid for all my Geep,

But when some others take a peek they form a clique.

It takes a squeaking off their wish to see me fall.

The greatest chap-pop-star of all!

But the weaknesses of some can leave them rather overcome

And then their jealousy's can rather stop them from keeping mum

So they bleat all their grievances up and down the avenue!

And replete with my reposte to keep me from grabbing you

By your lapels.

I've no need to haze for my life is amazing

And here, my dear, is the news:

The world's my nicknackatory.

It's so frightfully clean.

Yours is another story.

It's really rather mean.

The world's my nicknackatory.

It's so frightfully wrong

You may bathe in my glory

And maybe we'll be chums.

The draws that someone hears as one's stock grows more

Is the cross one has to bare in a frightful bore.

The world is my toyshop.

It makes your ploy stop.

A place of joy, got a Japanese robot

In a bow tie to serve me tea,

Biscuits, cake, and Sherry.

The very thought of employment

Thwarts my enjoyment

Of port so I deploy some more booze.

Remain buoyant

I demand booze and I demand cake

But always to share, as I care for the chums that I make.

In the wake of the chap hop wars

I recline in a fine pair of tweed plus fours

I cannot

Whose ganders

I get up, I'm set up for life.

Like my grill has more might than the knife.

The strife and they say has caused me, bore's me blue!

Let them eat cake, and let me eat it too!