The Last Saskatchewan Pirate

I used to be a farmer, and I made a living fine

I had a little stretch of land along the CP line

But times went by and though I tried, the money wasn't there

And the bankers came and took my land and told me, "Fair is fair"

I looked for every kind of job, the answer always "no"

"Hire you now?" they'd always laugh, "We just let 20 go"

The government, they promised me a measly little sum

But I've got too much pride to end up just another bum

Then I thought, "Who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone?"

I'm gonna be a pirate on the river Saskatchewan

'Cause it's a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin' down the plains

Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains

It's a ho-hey, hi-hey, farmers bar yer doors

When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

Arr! (Arr, arr)

Well, you'd think the local farmers would know that I'm at large

But just the other day, I found an unprotected barge

I snuck up right behind them, and they were none the wiser

I rammed their ship and sank it, and I stole their fertilizer

A bridge outside of Moose Jaw spans a mighty river

Farmers cross in so much fear, their stomachs are a-quiver

'Cause they know that Tractor Jack is hidin' in the bay

I'll jump the bridge and knock them cold, and sail off with their hay

'Cause it's a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin' down the plains

Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains

It's a ho-hey, hi-hey, farmers bar yer doors

When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

Arr! (Arr, arr)

Well, Mountie Bob, he chased me, he was always at my throat

He'd follow on the shoreline, but he didn't own a boat

But cutbacks were a-coming and the Mountie lost his job

So now he's sailing with me, and we call him Salty Bob

A swingin' sword, a skull and bones and pleasant company

I never pay my income tax, and screw the GST (screw it!)

Prince Albert down to Saskatoon, I'm the terror of the sea

If you wanna reach the co-op, boy, you gotta get by me

'Cause it's a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin' down the plains