Selfish

That name follows me

Like a death into the ground

Waiting for the day when I can see it

And not think of you searching for it hopelessly in the crowd

I don't wanna think about the nitty gritty details

I don't wanna think about the sound of your voice

I don't wanna think about the way

You would run to her if you had choice

I don't wanna think about the things you told me

I don't wanna think about the things you tell her

I don't wanna think about the bite in my chest

Blood dripping on the kitchen counter

My god I'm

Going insane

Is it this again? Is it the running away

Quiet chewing cheeks and a hundred mile gaze

I wanna like it

I'm being selfish

But I'll say it's fine to shut it up shut it down in time

But it comes to me like a neon sign turned on in the dead of the night

I don't wanna think about her name in your mouth

And I don't wanna think about the things that come after

I don't wanna think about the nights I spent turning my stomach sour

Carry it

Like a sopping wet coat

Sleep in it

Like there's no going home

My god I'm

Going insane

Is it this again? Is it the running away

Quiet chewing cheeks, hundred mile gaze

I wanna like it

I'm being selfish

And I'm scared

That I'm gonna love you forever

Cause wasn't that the plan anyway?

Ohh, ohh

Is it this again? Is it the running away

Quiet chewing cheeks, hundred mile gaze

I wanna like it

I'm being selfish

Ride it out I know, whatever you said

But it's just like a child tugging at my pant leg

I wanna like it

God its pathetic

I wanna like it

I'm being selfish