The Guy Who Knows Everything (But Hasn’t Done Anything)

He walks in braggin like he built the whole damn town

Never swung a hammer but hell tell ya how

Says he wrestled wolves up on the Donegal ridge

Truth is he once screamed at a squirrel near his fridge

Oh I coulda done that better

He says after every tale

But ask him for the details

He turns a shade of pale

Oh he knows everything

Aye everything

But hasn't done a thing

Not a single thing

Raise your pints and sing

Let the ceiling ring

For the lad who knows it all but hasn't done a thing

Claims he fought ten sailors down in Galway Bay

But he gets winded tying boots most every day

Says he taught the Chieftains every tune they play

He once broke a string and cried then walked away

Oh I nearly joined the army

He says with mighty pride

Aye he mailed the form in blank

And never went outside

Oh he knows everything

Aye everything

But hasn't done a thing

Not a single thing

Raise your pints and sing

Let the ceiling ring

For the lad who knows it all but hasn't done a thing

Ask him any question

And hell spin you a yarn

But ask him to prove it

Hell be gone by dawn

Oh he knows everything

Aye everything

But hasn't done a thing

Not a single thing

To the king of stories tall

The biggest know it all

Raise your pints and sing

For the lad who knows it all but hasn't done a thing