Me and Yates, an army buddy o'mine
We're doin' three years in Germany at the time
We came up on these Frauleins in the bar
Yates said, "Darf isch zee be-gleit-en?"
They said "Ya"
And "Darf isch zee be-gleit-en" means
"Can we sit with you all?"
Oh, we must have drunk ten quarts of German beer
My conscience and my sinuses were clear
I asked that Fraulein if she was a spy
She said, "Nein but do bis ain bissel high"
A condition not uncommon to the American soldier
Well, later on I went to be excused
When I returned, I was a bit confused
Yates and his Fraulein had hit the air
Another guy was sittin' in my chair
A young soldier whom we shall get to know better
I said, "Excuse me, mister, that's my seat
I'd like to have it back, sir, if you please
That girl's a nurse and I've been awful sick"
The man looked up at me and said, "Mox-nix"
Which means that he was not overly concerned with my health
Next thing I knew, he had a switchblade knife
Oh Lord, I didn't know that Fraulein was his wife
I took off through that guesthouse like a fool
Behind me, I heard the crashing stools
As the police would say, "He was in hot pursuit"
Well, the waitress yelled, "There's M .P.'s on the way"
That's one more reason I didn't want to stay
As I went out the window, somethin' went swish
And I giggled all the way home, knowing he missed
At the time, it seemed like a laughing matter
But next morning, my coat was lyin' there on the bunk
And when I saw that coat, it made me jump
That man had cut my coat right down the back
A little bit more and they'd been playin' me taps
And knowin' the sad nature of that song, I would decline it
Well, later on, I heard that guy got stabbed
They sent him home, and didn't that make me glad
On love and marriage, I want to say one thing
Oh, lady, if you're married, wear that ring
And the army has a new policy
If you can't move it, paint it
If it has a switchblade knife, salute it
Not necessarily an incident one would want to write mother about
Germany being full of good soldiers and good people