keeping up with the joneses

Listen

You did the best with what you had

I know you had your struggles as a dad

I know that you were older than the parents that these other kids had

I know we made it easy to keep getting you mad, mad, mad

I know you only beat me when you thought that I was bad

Patience never had, can't use it for excuses, but I promise I don't hold on to the past

Just wish that I could ask

About the things you struggled with as you became a man

Dementia took those memories I hoped that you could pass

If karma was a person, possibly you'd be a match

No parent needs to witness everything that you have

You lost your spouse and your older boys don't talk to you

Your second wife divorced you after feeling lost to you

And then your youngest child died, it was stopping you

From living anymore until your illness rotted you

Uh, and now you're dying in a nursing home

No idea who, where, how, why and even when you're gone

You return as if it was the first time

And I know that you're alive, but you're dead when your mind's gone

Yeah, you'll know when your mind's gone

What does it mean to be a Jones

Probably be alone

Listen

You only left cause you needed to

But Chris and I were young and still needed you

I know you tried, I denied ever seeing you

But I was hurt, your child never believed in you

That was a sad road to see me on

'Cause every bad boy still needs to see his mom

And every time that a woman tried to leave me on

Just like you, I blamed it on me being Sean

Still haunted by the past

Falling for pretty faces and fat ass

Women that love me are women I put last

Women I want most are women I can't have

So I'm hoping that you'll help me end the cycle, reconcile

Understand that I'm a broken man no longer in denial

I forgive you for leaving me, not evil, just need a smile

When the circumstances of your mental state feel like a pile of vile

And I'm aware of the attempts you made to visit

Turned you away and I'm still hoping you forgive this

I hope bipolar isn't anything I witness

After seeing what it did to you

I know that it's a sickness

I know you're not pretentious

Like the family in your business

And you know I'm a soldier

Since you witnessed from a distance

I know you're getting older

And you know that there's some brilliance

Being Jones is a sentence

Till your whole damn existence dies

You feel the hole that it leaves behind

You see your soul slowly leave your eyes

And you know when you're in it

Being Jones is a sentence

Till your whole damn existence dies

Listen

How am I doing? How am I moving? Tell me it's good, tell me I'm stupid

Tell me you're great, tell me you're happy

Tell me you're free, tell me you're laughing

I need you to come back and play some Zelda with me

Like the days when we were both some arrogant teens

Like when we were a team

When we barely have seen

What it means to believe

In the scariest things

Always tearing at strings

Always causing a problem

Always living a dream

Since we lived at the bottom

Took a couple of drinks

Being sober's a problem

Life is always a problem

But you know what I mean

Since you always believed

That your older brother was awesome

It's harder to see

And it's harder to breathe

Pressure popping at seams

Hope that God is somebody gracious and knows what I need

I hope you've seen all of my actions since the moment you died

The rise and the fall

The drought and the tide

The love and the purpose

The ego and pride

I hope I'm living what it means to be a Jones till I die