It Never Rains But It Pours

One, two, three, four

Hey little baby, you act like I'm crazy

Walking around in my sleep

Well if I knew it, why on earth would I do it

I've other appointments to keep

In my sleep

Spare me the drama, you slipped on a banana

After you'd eaten the skin

How could you do it, are you really that stupid

Not knowing that there was a bin you could put it in?

Of course being a Monday would be the one day

Trains are delayed by the score

And it never rains but it pours

Mine's not due for a week

Would you believe it, our Adam and Eve skit

Didn't go quite as we'd planned

Leaves we were using both of our choosing

Fell off and so we got banned

Could have used a hand

Heart has been broken, credit card stolen

Off-license closing its doors

And it never rains but it pours

Why I've no idea

But if you want romance

Then here's a good tip, leave all expletives behind

And as for the men, maybe they should try

Giving flowers from time to time

Call me a loser 'cause I didn't choose her

Call me a fool if you like

Sure she was pretty but when she said, hit me

That kind of gave me a fright

As well, it might

A word from head office there, being no profits

We have to show you the door

And it never rains but it pours

Rents just been increased

If only the good days outnumbered the bad

If only the bad died young

In an ideal world, we would still disagree

But doing so would be fun

Smile for the camera, the one that can't stand you

You know the one that I mean

Where every picture looks like a mixture

Of hideous crass and obscene

But never lean

Afloat on a big lake, boat hits a big wave

After which you lose the oars

And it never rains but it pours

Now it's started to leak