Hazbin Guarantee (Trust Us)

Come on in, here's your key

Let me take your bag, wait 'til you see

The hotel, 'cause it's great

If you parked your car, we'll validate

All our guests are family

(Hey, perv, hands off the chest fluff)

That's the Hazbin guarantee

And did I mention it's free?

It's worth the price

Al, be nice

Full of drunks (full of cunts)

Full of sticky floors covered in junk

Ha, don't mind them

No one does

Or that hole

Ugh, Cherri (what?)

You've made a great choice to save your soul

'Cause redemption is possible, I really, really hope

'Cause if it isn't, then my whole life's been a fuckin' joke

And my friend died for no reason and I'm never gonna cope

From watching him get fucking murdered right in front of me last month

(What?) There's a bar

(What the shit?) Have a beer (I don't drink)

I just know you're gonna love it here

We can live in harmony

No, I can't make a fucking Mai Tai

That's the Hazbin guarantee

Now repeat after me

I'm checkin' in (I'm checkin' in)

I'm seekin' guidance (I'm seekin' guidance), come on, everybody

For my reckonin' (for my reckonin')

I'll never turn to violence (I'll never turn-)

I'm checkin' in (I'm checking in)

I'm seekin' guidance (let's get out of here) (that place sucked ass)

Psst, hey, you (who? Me?)

That's right, baby

Redemption got you snoring? That scene was fucking boring

Have you considered a vocation that is more rewarding?

Because I sense a drop of star potential

With a little boost, that drip could turn torrential

Come on down to Vee Tower where we have talent flower

No tellin' how hot you could get once you're backed by our power

Let's start with a killer fit, let's get filler in those lips

Wax that gooch and pull that strip

A-snip, snip, snip

Ooh, all of Hell's gonna want you

In this game, no one outdoes us