Turn It Louder

Screen glow on my face

Words hit like a car crash

Scroll slow

Every line

Burns holes through my calm

Replay what I typed

Chewing on the same thought

Did I push too hard

Or was breathing a crime

Heart in a chokehold

Each word like a hand on my throat

I pace that same four steps

Til the carpet knows my shame

So I turn it louder

Louder

Louder

Til your voices blur and break

Let the drums drown out the anger

Let the bass erase my name

I turn it louder

Louder

Louder

Til my chest forgets to ache

If I hide inside this volume

Maybe I can't hear my mistakes

Half moon

Half asleep

Teeth grind through the night time

Re-reads in my head

Like a loop I can't skip

Your "just being honest"

Cuts deep

Then you log off

I'm stuck with the echo

And the weight in my ribs

Breath stuck in traffic

Panic lights red in my lungs

I swallow every shout

So it only hurts inside

So I turn it louder

Louder

Til your voices blur and break

Let the drums drown out the anger

Let the bass erase my name

I turn it louder

Louder

Til my chest forgets to ache

If I hide inside this volume

Maybe I can't hear my mistakes

If I'm wrong then say it straight

Don't twist the knife

Don't decorate

I'm tired of carrying every blame

Like my first and only name

Turn it up

Turn it up

Til the guilt can't speak

Til the beat's the only thing

Pressing on my chest