Trapped In the Closet (Chapters 1-5)

Seven o'clock in the morning

And the rays from the sun wakes me

I'm stretchin' and yawnin'

In a bed that don't belong to me

And a voice yells, "Good morning, darlin'"

From the bathroom

Then she comes out and kisses me

And to my surprise, she ain't you

Now, I've got this dumb look on my face

Like, what have I done?

How could I be so stupid to be have laid

Here 'til the morning sun?

Lost the track of time

Oh, what was on my mind?

From the club, went to her home

Didn't plan to stay that long

Here I am, quickly tryin' to put on my clothes

Searching for my car keys

Tryin' to get on up out the door

Then she streched her hands in front of it

Said, "You can't go this way"

Looked at her, like she was crazy

Said, "Woman, move out my way"

Said, "I got a wife at home"

She said, "Please, don't go out there"

"Lady, I've got to get home"

She said her husband was comin' up the stairs

Shh, shh, quiet

Hurry up, and get in the closet

She said, "Don't you make a sound

Or some shit is going down"

I said, "Why don't I just go out the window?"

"Yes, except for one thing, we on the fifth floor"

Shit, think, shit, think, shit, "Quick, put me in the closet"

And now, I'm in this darkest closet, tryin' to figure out

Just how I'm gonna get my crazy ass up out this house

Then he walks in and yells, "I'm home"

She says, "Honey, I'm in the room"

Walks in there with a smile on his face

Sayin', "Honey, I've been missin' you"

She hops all over him

And says, "I've cooked and ran your bath water"

I'm tellin' you now, this girl's so good that she deserves an Oscar

Throws her in the bed

And start to snatchin' her clothes off

I'm in the closet, like man, what the fuck is going on?

You're not gonna believe it

But things get deeper as the story goes on

Next thing you know, a call comes through on my cell phone

I tried my best to quickly put it on vibrate

But from the way he act, I could tell it was too late

He hopped up and said, "There's a mystery going on

And I'm gonna solve it"

And I'm like, "God, please, don't let this man open this closet"

He walks in the bathroom

And looks behind the door

She says, "Baby, come back to bed"

He says, "Bitch, say no more"

He pulls back the shower curtain

While she's biting her nails

Then he walks back to the room

Right now, I'm sweating like Hell

Checks under the bed

Then under the dresser

He looks at the closet

I pull out my Baretta

He walks up to the closet

He goes up to the closet

Now, he's at the closet

Damn, he's opening the closet

Well...

Now, he's staring at me like

As if he was starin' in a mirror

She yells, "Honey, let me explain"

He says, "You don't have to go no further

I can clearly see what's goin' on

Behind my back, in my bed, in my home"

Then I said, "Wait a minute, now, hold on"

I said, "Mister, we can work this out"

She said, "Honey, don't lose control"

Tried to get him to calm down

He said, "Hoe, I should've known

That you would go and do some bogus shit up in my house

But the Christian in me gave you the benefit of the doubt"

I said, "We need to resolve this"

Then he stepped to me, I'm like "Whoa

There's a reason I'm in this closet"

He says, "Yeah, like, what? Are you takin' clothes?"

"I met this girl at the Plagis club

And she told me she didn't have a man"

Then he said, "Man, please

I'd kill you if you didn't have that gun in ya hand"

And I said, "But yo' chick choose me"

He said, "Don't give me that mack shit, please"

His phone goes off, and then things get a little more interesting

He steps a little closer

I point my gun and says, "I'm not the one you after"

He says, "Son, I bet you didn't know my man

Did she tell you that I was a pastor?"

I said, "Well, good, that's betta, right?

Why can't we handle this Christian-like?"

And I started to put the gun down

'Til I saw his face, still had that frown

She started cryin', sayin', "Baby, I'm sorry"

Then he said, "Baby, not as sorry as you're gonna be"

I started inchin' out

He says, "No, I want you to see this"

Said, "I gotta get out this house"

He said, "Not 'til I reveal my secret"

I'm like, "What is goin' on inside his head?"

Then he takes his phone and calls somebody up and says

"Hello, baby, turn the car around

Listen, I just need for you to get right back here now" (Click)

He looks at me and says, "Well, since we're all comin' out the closet

I'm not about to be the only one that's broken-hearted"

She said, "What do you mean?"

And he said, "Just wait and see"

I said, "Somebody betta talk to me"

And then his phone ring

He picks up and somebody says, "Sweetheart, I'm downstairs"

And he's like, "I'll buzz you up

I'm on the fifth floor, hurry, take the stairs"

And I'm like, "Who is this mystery lady that you're talking to?"

He says, "In time, you both will know the shockin' truth

Baby, this is something I been wanting to get off my chest for a long, long time"

Then I said, "Nigga, I'ma shoot you both if you don't say what's on ya mind"

He said, "Wait, I hear somebody comin' up the stairs"

And I'm lookin' at the door

He says, "I think you betta sit down in the chair"

I says, "I'm gonna count to four"

"One", he says, "Mister, wait"

"Two", she says, "Please, don't shoot"

"Three", he says, "Don't shoot me"

Four, she screams

Then a knock on the door, the guns in my hands

He opens the door, I can't believe it is a man (man, man, man)

Well, here we are, the four of us

In total shock me and her

I close my mouth and swallow spit

As I'm thinking to myself, "This is some deep shit"

Then I said, "So, you're gonna tell me he's the one

You've been talking to"

He says, "Yes", I says, "No", he says, "Yes", I says, "No"

He says, "It's the truth"

I yell, "All of ya'll asses crazy

Let me up out this door, because this is way more than I bargoned for"

And then she says, "Wait

I'm sure we can all fix this", then I said, "I'm late

Plus I ain't got a damn thing to do with this"

Then she said, "Wouldn't you like to know

Just how it all began?"

Then I thought to myself and said, "Quick, you got three minutes"

Then it got real quiet

I said, "Somebody start talkin'"

And then she said, "My God, Ruphus, I got just one question

How could you do something like this? I'm so hurt!"

He looked at her and said, "Bitch, please, you got

Yo' nerves with all yo' club hoppin'

Lying, sayin' you was shoppin'

And now, here you are in

Our home, and you calling

Me wrong", she said, "Okay, you busted me

And that much I agree

You caught me cheating

But this is a little extreme"

He said, "You are my wife

Sleeping behind my back

And now, I come home, and you got him in the closet

How extreme is that?"

She says, "But she's a he"

Then he says, "Please, you can't judge me"

She says, "Ruphus, this is crazy"

And I said, "Stop aguing

I did not stay here to hear y'all chew

Each other out, so get to the point

Or, I swear, I'm out", "Excuse me, please

But I think I can explain what's going in

Here, my name is Chuck, and I've been

Knowin' Ruphus for 'bout a year

At midnight, creeping around with him, it's been a living Hell

Sneaking in and out of hotels"

I said, "Brother, spare me

The details", then Ruphus said, "Chuck, please

Don't say nothin' else", then she screams, "Ruphus

You son of a bitch"

And he says, "Cathy, go to Hell"

I said, "I thought you name was Mary

That's what you said at the party

Man, this is getting scary

I'm gonna shoot somebody"

Then Ruphus starts yellin' and screaming

Saying, "Cathy, this is all yo' fault"

She throws a pillow at him

And says, "You was creepin' too, the only difference

Is you didn't get caught"

Chuck screams out, "We're in love"

Cathy says, "Love my ass"

Ruphus say they gettin' married

Then I shoot one in the air

Then I say, "Not another one of

You, sons of bitches, say a word

'Cause all of this shit I'm going through

Is unheard", grab my celluar

Sayin', "This is so wrong"

Call up my home

And a man picks up the phone (phone, phone)

Now, I'm dashin' home

Doin' 85

Swervin' lane to lane

With fire in my eyes

I got a million thoughts

Goin' through my mind

I'm thinkin' about, "What I'ma do and who

I'm gonna do it to when I get home?"

How could I have been so blind?

And then I look in my rear view

I cannot believe this

(Woo-woo-woo)

Damn, here comes a policeman

He drove right up on me and flashed his light

Then I pulled over without thinkin' twice

He hopps out the car and walked over to me

And said, "License and registration, please"

I looked up at him and said

"Officer, is there somethin' wrong?"

He said, "No, except you was doin' 60 in a 40 mile zone"

Then I said, "Officer

Let me explain, please

Ya see, the truth of the matter is

Is that I got an emergency"

He said, "No excuses

And no exceptions"

He flicks his cigarette and then gives me the ticket

Said, "Have a nice day" and walked away

I said, "Yeah, right" and drove away

Then I turned my radio on

And did 55 all the way home

I pulled up in the driveway

Hopped out and slammed the car door

Then go around the back

Bust up in the house, pull back the shower door, and she screamin'

"What's all that for?"

Then I'm like, "Woman, I called this house

And a man picked up my phone"

Then she said, "Calm down

Did you forget

My brother Twan came home?

"Oh..."

And that's all I could say was, "Oh"

With a stupid look on my face

Said, "I forgot he came home today"

And she said, "That's okay"

Because, honey, I understand"

She said, "You don't have to explain"

Then I took her by the hand

I kissed her, and then we went to the room

Then I turned some music on

Apologized one more time

Then went down, and start gettin' it on

And she started bitin' her lips

Grabbing me and makin' noise

Now we makin' love, and she's my ear, whisperin'

"It's all yours"

I said, "I love you"

And she said, "I love ya, too"

Then a tear fell up out my eye

Then I called her my sunshine

And then she looked at me

And said, "Baby, go deeper, please"

And that's when I start goin' crazy

Like I was tryin' to give her a baby

The room feel like it's spinnin'

We keep turnin' and turnin'

As if we were in a whirlwind

The way our toes are curlin'

The next thing ya know, she starts goin' real wild

And screamin' my name

Then I said, "Baby, we must slow down

Before I bust a vessel in my brain"

And she said, "Please, no, don't stop"

And I said, "I caught a cramp"

And she said, "Please, keep on goin'"

I said, "My leg is about to crack"

Then she cries out

"Oh, my goodness, I'm about to climax"

And I said, "Cool

Climax

Just let go of my leg"

She says, "You're the perfect lover"

I said, "I can't go no futher"

Then I flip back the cover

Oh, my God, a rubber (rubber, rubber)

And now, I'm like

"Well, well, well

What the fuck is this?

A condom in my bed

Ya better start talkin', bitch

'Fore I take a match and

Burn this muthafucka down"

I said you, "Better start talkin'

And start talkin' right God damn now"

Then she said, "Baby

I'm so speechless"

Then I said, "My baby

You gone be breathless

If ya don't start talkin' quick

Woman, I'm gone have a fit

You don't know what ya fuckin' with

Girl, ya better cut the bullshit

Now it's obvious somebody has been all up in my home

In my bed, and plus, I smell cigarettes"

Now and sniffin' and lookin' around

Suspicious like someone's here

Then I looked in her eyes and in her eyes

There was so much fear

Pull out my gun said, "Is he still here?"

She shook her head and said, "No"

I'm checkin' behind every door

She cried out, "He left right after you called"

I said, "What the fuck was you thinking?

You thought that I wouldn't find this out?"

Then I said, "You must be crazy or on crack

To have somebody off up in my muthafuckin' house"

She hopped up and said, "That's enough"

She said, "I can't take no more"

And then she said, "You made your point

But now it's time to even the score"

She said, "I know all about last night

And where you went when you left the club"

Said, "That's right, nigga, I was there

With this guy in the back of the club"

I said, "I thought you was with yo' girls

She said, "I thought you was with yo' guys"

She said, "You was at that bitche's house

And don't even try to act suprised"

Said, "Baby", she said, "Shut up

Don't you say a word

It ain't nothin' you can say

That I ain't already heard"

Then I said, "Woman, don't you try to turn it all around

'Cause the fact still remains that someone else was in my house"

Then she said, "You're right about that

Somethin' did go down, but I don't have to turn it around

'Cause what goes around, comes back around"

I'm movin' a little closer to her

She's trippin' over the furniture

She said, "Wait first, just let me explain"

I said, "No need to, just give me his name"

And then she said, "Uh... uh"

I say, "Uh, what?"

She said, "Please, sit down in a chair"

And I say, "No, I'm standin' up"

And she cries out, "I'm so scared to tell you

Because of what ya might do"

And I screamed, "Look, girl, you better

Give me this man's name, and I'm not playin' with you"

She says, "Okay", wipes her nose and asks me about a girl named Tina

I thought to myself, said, "It sound familiar"

I said, "I probably know her if I seen her"

Then I say, "Anyway, girl, what the hell does

That got to do with this man?"

She said, "He know my girl Roxanne"

I said, "Who the hell is Roxanne?"

Then she says, "Roxanne's a friend of mine

Who know with this guy named Chuck

Chuck's cool with this guy name Rufus"

And I'm sittin' here, like, what the fuck?

Then she says, "Rufus' wife, Cathy

We both went to high school

She introduced me to

The policeman that stopped you"