Ozempic

I used to be fine

I used to be lean

My baby said she loved me

When I'd wear Versace jeans

But baby made me salads

When meals rolled around

Squeezed grass juice into a blender

And teriyaki tofu by the pound

But baby was a feast

For these old sad sore eyes

So pretty that It scared me

So lucky I could cry

Man you know how it goes

When bloom's fades off the rose

Them bean sprouts became

What scared me

So I'd sneak out before Jack closed

My baby said boy you are getting wide

You got mashed potatoes

Where you used to have pride

She packed her bags with tears in her eyes

Had to choose between my baby

And my supersize fries

I thought I'd be all right

Living with late night cake

But tonight I'm crying in the kitchen

With a belly full of heartbreak

Too much on my plate

With too little love in my bed

Started reading Dr. Google

And this is what he said

If you're growing to big

Fear you are losing your chick

We got the solution

In a painless needle prick

For our next magic trick

Mail you a vile of Ozempic

No doctor needed

I'll fax in the script

Just your name

And card numbers

You'll be back in the race

You'll lose all that fat

Including sense of taste

Now I'm back with my baby

And slim as a pole

I have no regrets

Bout brown rice and tofu bowls