Ed Sullivan Show

One, two, three, four

Good evening motherfuckers and cocksuckers

And meat beaters and drug beaters

And color peoples and snuff dippers

And all that kind of shit and whatnot

But now the whole world should know my name is Blowfly

It's a pleasure to be doing my second LP for y'all

And thanks for making the first one a big record

We're gonna do some things from some television network shows

The way we think they should be done just once

We're gonna get things on the way with The Ed Sullivan Show

So how about it? A hand for Ed Sullivan

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen

My first guest of the evening will be a young man from Alabama

How about a hand for Clarence Carter? How about it?

I was born in Alabama

On a little farm way back up in the woods

Why, I had so much spider web and dust around my dick toe

I couldn't shoot off even if I could

So every day I would jerk off in the fields

That's the only way I got my thrills

You see, there was a lot of girls around with class

But they just wouldn't give me no ass

Sometimes I thought that I couldn't go on

My hands would get tired but I'd jerk right on

Then I remember what my father said

He said, "Jacking your joint will go straight to your head"

He said, "Dusty, I'm begging you, son

Don't do what I have done

Jacking off ran me crazy"

How about it? Clarence Carter

Before we bring on special guest Ray Stevenson

Here's a word from the Mountain Dew peoples

One, two, three, four

My old Uncle Orange had a knot on his joint

What did he know what to do?

He looked this girl in the eyes

And when she opened up her thighs

He saw nothing but good old Mountain Dew

Yes, nothing like that good old Mountain Dew

Here's a young man that arranges, writes, produces, records

Among other things

How about a hand for Mr. Ray Stevenson?

And now here he is, Ray Stevenson