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One, two, three, four
Good evening motherfuckers and cocksuckers
And meat beaters and drug beaters
And color peoples and snuff dippers
And all that kind of shit and whatnot
But now the whole world should know my name is Blowfly
It's a pleasure to be doing my second LP for y'all
And thanks for making the first one a big record
We're gonna do some things from some television network shows
The way we think they should be done just once
We're gonna get things on the way with The Ed Sullivan Show
So how about it? A hand for Ed Sullivan
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen
My first guest of the evening will be a young man from Alabama
How about a hand for Clarence Carter? How about it?
I was born in Alabama
On a little farm way back up in the woods
Why, I had so much spider web and dust around my dick toe
I couldn't shoot off even if I could
So every day I would jerk off in the fields
That's the only way I got my thrills
You see, there was a lot of girls around with class
But they just wouldn't give me no ass
Sometimes I thought that I couldn't go on
My hands would get tired but I'd jerk right on
Then I remember what my father said
He said, "Jacking your joint will go straight to your head"
He said, "Dusty, I'm begging you, son
Don't do what I have done
Jacking off ran me crazy"
How about it? Clarence Carter
Before we bring on special guest Ray Stevenson
Here's a word from the Mountain Dew peoples
One, two, three, four
My old Uncle Orange had a knot on his joint
What did he know what to do?
He looked this girl in the eyes
And when she opened up her thighs
He saw nothing but good old Mountain Dew
Yes, nothing like that good old Mountain Dew
Here's a young man that arranges, writes, produces, records
Among other things
How about a hand for Mr. Ray Stevenson?
And now here he is, Ray Stevenson
Take it away, Ray
Once upon a time there was a very rich girl named Blanche
Salty Sam was always trying to get his hands on her ranch
So down in the old abandoned mine
Sam said with a deep, deep laugh
"If you don't give me the deed to your ranch
I'm gonna ram my dick up your ass"
Then he grabbed her (Help, he grabbed me)
Pulled her drawers down (He pulled my drawers down)
Rammed his dick in (He rammed his dick in)
Man, I mean he had it in so far you couldn't even see his balls
She just laid there in the morning, drawn, yeah
And then along came Jones
Along came Jones
Hard rocking Jones
Cock blocking Jones
Along came, along came cock blocking Jones
Yeah, how about it? Ray Stevenson