If I Disappear, Don’t Look for Me

I left pieces of me

Taped to your windows-

But you never looked outside.

You were always good

At ignoring storms

If they weren't named after you.

I spoke in earthquakes

You mistook for silence,

And smiled through

My own unraveling.

You thought I was patient-

I was just fading.

I read maps of you

Until my eyes bled,

Looking for exits

You never meant to build.

I begged the mirror

To lie better.

It always refused.

I've folded my skin

Into corners of this world

You'll never sweep,

Left questions in the floorboards,

But you just

Kept walking.

If I disappear-

Don't come looking.

The echo has bruises

From bouncing too long.

If I vanish,

Pretend you meant to lose me.

I've already searched

Until I became

Unfindable.

I lit flares in rooms

You locked behind kind words.

I danced in the fire,

Just to feel something

Like warmth.

I built altars

Out of all the things

I wasn't.

And worshipped there

Because you never did.

If I disappear-

Don't whisper my name

Like you own it.

I gave it to you

But never saw it again.

If I vanish,

Don't light candles-

Just close your eyes.

I've already wandered enough

For both of us.