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You'll like this, adults. It's dirty
Hey, when I was a lad in a fishing town
An old man, he said to me
"You can spend your life, your jolly life
Just sailing on the sea
Now, you can search the world for pretty girls
'Til your eyes are weak and dim
But don't go swimming with the mermaids, son
If you don't know how to swim
If you don't know how to swim
For her hair is green as seaweed
And her eyes are blue and pale
And I'll tell you now before you start
You can love that girl with all your heart
But you're just gonna love the upper part
You're not gonna like the tail"
So I signed onto a whaling ship
And my very first day at sea
I seen a mermaid in the waves
Reaching out to me
"Come and live with me in the sea," said she
"And down on the ocean's floor
I'll show you a million wondrous things
You've never seen before
Oh, you've never seen before"
So over I jumped and she pulled me down
Down to a seaweed bed
And a pillow made of a tortoise shell
She placed beneath my head
She fed me shrimps and caviar
Upon a silver dish
From her head to her waist
She was just to my taste
But the bottom part was a fish
Oh, her bottom part was a fish
Yes, her hair was green as seaweed
Her eyes were blue and pale
And I loved that girl with all my heart
I vowed we'd never part
But I knew that that was not too smart
'Cause I did not like the tail
And then one day when I looked up
I saw a sailing ship
And I met the stare of a millionaire
Out on a fishing trip
Now, a diamond ring he tied to a string
And lowered it down into the water
And my love divine, she went for his line
And that was the way he caught her
Yes, that was the way he caught her
So I sat and cried into the tide
Saying to the clams and whales
How I missed my love, her seaweed hair
And the silvery shine of her scales
And then her sister, she swam by
And set my heart awhirl
For her upper part was an ugly fish
But the bottom part was girl
Yes, the bottom part was girl
Yes, her knees are pink and rosy
And her toes are small and frail
Her body, it's a work of art
And I love that girl with all my heart
And I don't give a damn about the upper part
And that's how I end my tale