Текст песни
I got abandonment issues Carved deep beneath my skin
A lifetime full of people Walking out right when I let them in
Every time I trusted someone They'd vanish once again
Left me with the kind of silence That don't fade, it just sinks in
I've been left so many ways I don't know what stay means no more
People swear they riding with you Then they gone without a word
They don't leave you with a reason They don't tell you what occurred
They just disappear so quietly You question if you even heard
I remember sitting on my bed Waiting for a text that never came
Checking over and over Like maybe they type my name
Watching my own reflection Feel ashamed for feeling pain
Like somehow I deserved it Every time they walked away again
There's a special kind of hurt When someone says I'm here for you
Then they leave the moment things get heavy Like they never meant it true
It makes you fear attachment Makes you question every truth
It makes you build a wall so strong That nothing ever makes it through
I've had people swear they love me Then forget me like a chore
Had people claim they knew me Then treat me like I'm something they ignore
Had people walk away And never look back anymore
Left me holding all the pieces Of a heart they tore before
Now every time somebody gets close I feel myself retreat
Every kindness feels suspicious Every promise feels deceit
Every I got you Sounds like bullshit, whisper sweet
Cause I've been left in every way A person can leave another week
It's dark, but I cry myself to sleep So many nights I don't cry now
Learn to swallow every feeling Just to make it through the fallout
Learn to smile in conversations Even when I'm breaking down
Cause people only stay around you When you're up, not when you drown
You ever lose someone Who swore you'd never lose them
You ever watch love fade so fast It feel like you hallucinate them
You ever beg for closure Just to realize you never knew them
That's the kind of pain That builds the scars I live with
I don't choose them, I got abandonment issues But they don't make me weak, they make me numb
They make me guard my heart so hard Nobody ever gets to run
They make me see red flags in people long Before they come
And they make me walk away first So I'm never left by anyone
And I hate this about myself How I pull away when someone tries to care
How I ruin something good Cause I'm already bracing for despair
How I push people from a place That comes from trauma, not repair
But when you've been left enough You treat love like it's a scare
I'm tired of being the temporary fix For someone's lonely nights
Tired of giving everything To those who never treat it right
Tired of being someone's almost Or they're maybe in disguise
Tired of feeling like I'm not enough For someone to stay in sight
But the truth is I survived every time they left
Every goodbye, every ghost Every heartbreak, every theft
And maybe abandonment twisted me, I confess But it also built a version of me
That nobody will abandon next