She Sits Down on Me

Now listen to my story, boys

I need your sympathy

The tattooed lady in the circus

Fell in love with me

And just to prove her love was sweet as Camp Tidi

She had my picture tattooed on her body

She has the landing of the pilgrims on her shoulders

And on her back she has the sunset of the west

And right beside her dimpled knees

She has two great big apple trees

And the pyramids look lovely on her chest

And when she decided that she'd like to add my picture on

She simply couldn't find a vacant spot, you see

So she tattooed my poor face in a most peculiar place

Now whenever she sits down she sits on me

She has a small gardenia tattooed on her elbow

And on her hip she has the lovely Queen of Nair

And right beneath her shapely spine

If you saw that pal of mine

You would see the famous road to Mandalay

She has a rusty hinge that's tattooed on her kneecap

It looks so real it squeaks each time she bends her knee

But she fills me with disgrace

When she tattoos my poor face

So whenever she sits down she sits on me

Now do you wonder why I'm looking sad and worried?

Do you wonder why I'm feeling mighty low?

I'd like to take a chance

And kick her right square in the pants

But if I do I'd only kick myself, I know

The only time that anyone can see my picture

Is when that tattooed lady takes her bath, oh gee

I get black and blue of course

Every time she rides the horse

'Cause whenever she sits down she sits on me

Whenever she sits down she sits on me