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He's Tony, he's Steve, he's Neil, he's Jim
He's Terry, he's Den, he's Willy
We're gonna do the Romford rap for you
Though you might think it's silly
But believe you me it's how they all
Talk snooker in the Max Room Club
It's rhyme, it's slang, come on everybody
All pin back your lugs
Now to start the game upon the cane
There's twenty-two bugle calls
For those of you that are confused
That's twenty-two snooker balls
Now fifteen of 'em are newlyweds
Then you got the old rubber kite
Newlyweds, well they're the reds
And the rubber kite's the white
It's the Romford rap, the Romford rap
Open up your trap and give it some of that
Whether you're a Paddy or a Taffy
Or a Jock or a Jap
Whether you're yellow, green, brown, blue, pink or black
From Brixton Bow on north of the Watford Gap
You can do the Romford rap
Now the next ball's called a runner bean
Another is an Ivor Novella
A runner bean, well that's the green
And the Ivor, that's the yellow
There's an eiderdown and a superglue
Then you got the kitchen sink
The name of the black is the chimney stack
And that's the lot I think
That's how to do the Romford rap
Now you've all been clued in
We'll leave the rest to work out yourselves
Alright, let's begin
Now pick yourself a nice Asian flu
You can Harry Wood the week
Hit that rubber straight down the cane
I tell you that's a piece of cake
Now split up the bugles and if you're lucky mate
You might sky a newlywed
Then if you can't see a way to put the chimney
Try to sink the kitchen instead
Now and again you get an awkward one
And a Georgie is required
To try to sky another newlywed
Or any bugle that's desired
If you're on form you'll clear the cane
From a maximum Harry Wood
And if you ever do it on the Auntie Nellie
Now that would not be good
It's the Romford rap, the Romford rap
Open up your trap and give it some of that
Whether you're a Paddy or a Taffy
Or a Jock or a Jap
Whether you're yellow, green, brown, blue, pink or black
From Brixton Bow on north of the Watford Gap
You can do the Romford rap
Whether you're a Paddy or a Taffy
Or a Jock or a Jap
Whether you're yellow, green, brown, blue, pink or black
From Brixton Bow on north of the Watford Gap
You can do the Romford rap