Needle in a Bible

(Intro)

Bible on the dresser needle on the floor

I don't know which one I'm reachin' for anymore

Cross around my neck, burnin' like guilt

Sayin' "I'm saved" while I tighten the belt

(Verse 1)

I been baptized in poison, reborn in regret

Every prayer that I whispered came with a cigarette

Ashes on Corinthians, blood on Psalms

Tellin' God I'll quit — with a rig in my palm

I shot up in the same hand I used to praise

Told the preacher I was clean, but I was high for days

Ain't no choir in the trap, just the silence of shame

Only time I see Heaven is when that dope hits my veins

God, I don't blame you for not answerin' back

I been lyin' too long, I been off the right track

I stole from my mother, cursed my own blood

Tried to trade my pain for a hit in the mud

(Chorus)

It's a needle in a Bible, angel on my bed

Devil in my mirror with a crown on his head

I'm preachin' to the dope and I'm prayin' through the sin

Sayin', "Lord, forgive me" while I load up again

One hand on the scripture, one hand on the flame

Feelin' holy and hopeless in the same damn frame

Yeah, I'm tired of the cycle, tired of this game

But I ain't been clean enough to scream your name

(Verse 2)

Cross tattooed, but the faith feel fake

Even demons know verses when their life's at stake

I been to church high as fuck, sang loud in the pew

While the devil sat beside me rockin' steel—toe boots

I cried in the chapel, I bled in my sleep

I asked God why the hell He let me sink this deep

He said, "Son, I never left — it's you who ran

I gave you the truth, but you traded it for grams"

And damn that hit harder than withdrawals do

‘Cause I felt Him right there in that motel room

Fentanyl on the counter, gospel in the air

I chose the needle, He chose to still care

(Bridge)

How many chances I burned like spoons?

How many nights I begged to die by noon?

And still I breathe barely and bruised

A junkie with a cross and nothin' left to lose

(Final Chorus)

It's a needle in a Bible, torn at the spine

With a page ripped out where I wrote my last line

One more fix, one more prayer

One more high that leads nowhere

But maybe someday I'll pick the Word, not the dope

Maybe someday this pain'll feel like hope

Until then, Lord, stay near when I stumble

‘Cause even in my worst, I still mumble

Amen

(Outro – Spoken Word over fading guitar)

You don't gotta be clean to cry out

Sometimes the dirtiest hands reach the highest skies