Five More Reps!

I showed up late, forgot my mat

Already sweating — what's up with that?

They're all in sync, lookin' tight and clean

I'm flailing like I'm fighting a wasp unseen

The mirror don't lie — I'm two steps behind

Did a grapevine into a stop sign

The beat drops low — I drop lower… ish

Why does my knee sound like it's made of fish?

I fake a smile, pretend I'm fine

My Fitbit thinks I've flatlined

But here she comes, our fearless queen

Shouting words that haunt my dreams:

"5 more reps!" (You said that five reps ago!)

"Don't you quit!" (I'm mostly made of sweat now though!)

My arms are jelly, my soul has fled

My ponytail's now on top of my head

"Just five more reps!" — I can't escape the burn

Each booty pop's a life lesson I never learn

Zumba's fun, they said — come dance with pep

But this feels more like death… by 5 more reps.

They spin with grace, they shimmy with flair

I just did a move called "collapse on air"

She says "Smiles, ladies!" — I give a wheeze

And slide across the floor like melted cheese

Someone brought glitter, someone brought style

I brought despair and a sad exhale smile

They're sippin' water like it's champagne night

I'm over here tryna remember my right

But I can't quit — I'm in too deep

And this zumba song has a thousand beats

The music swells, she claps again

And drops the line that ends all men:

"5 more reps!" (Can I just roll off to the side?)

"You're almost there!" (If by 'there' you mean I've died)

This ain't cardio — it's a full soul cleanse

I've done things here that might end friendships

"5 more reps!" — it's a mantra now

I say it in my sleep with a trembling brow

No escape, no prep, no graceful steps...

Just me, in a puddle... doin' 5 more reps.

"Cha cha to the left — 5 more reps!"

"Shimmy to the right — 5 more reps!"

"Hands in the air — 5 more reps!"