The Man who Turned Into a Chair

When I was a boy

I couldn't stop running

I ran just to feel

The wind in my face

Then one day I said

I'm tired of running

I think I might try

Staying in one place for a while

He slipped off his Oxfords and picked up the crossword

The man who turned into a chair

He loosened his belt and he cursed second helpings

The man who turned into a chair

Out there was disorder, in here all was good

A fine blend of corduroy, leather and wood

And as evening slipped in his mind started drifting

The man who turned into a chair

I'd like to come back

Come back as a martin

The martins that fly

Down by the lock

And if I come back

Come back as a martin

I'll swoop and I'll dive

I'll never stop

No, I'll never, ever stop

The change did not scare him, he'd rather stopped caring

The man who turned into a chair

A fusing of diverse and disparate fibres

The man who turned into a chair

His wife didn't notice till it was too late

And she could no longer differentiate

'Tween husband and wing-back, oh please, someone bring back

My man, he's turned into a chair

Here I am

Where?

Here

It cradled his thighs and it coddled his soul

No one was surprised when it swallowed him whole

There's no return when you're part of the furniture

The man who turned into a chair

The man who turned into a chair