WHO I WAS

Ash and dust

Everythin' I care about enough

Burnin' up (yeah)

Nothin' left of who I thought I was (alright, turn my, uh, vocals up)

(And then just let it run) I was

Uh, stuck in traffic, tryna find my way to a home that I've never known

On a GPS with no address

So, I'll follow my heart, but my heart is scattered

Like my father's ashes in the back of the rental after I dropped his urn

Probably a metaphor for everythin' I've learned

Like how the only love I'll have is gonna crash and burn

Or how the poorest I've felt was after the most I've earned

The biggest lie told is that no one should be concerned

There's gotta be another highway that don't lead to Hell

A star to lead me through the darkest night like Christian Bale

I hid from God for more than two decades of life

And when I came back to the light, He didn't ask me if I'm Christian still

Just opened up His arms and embraced me like I'm His Son

Erasin' all the archetypes of what people like me become

Since I was young, my personality split like serpent's tongue

But all the poison in my body still ain't make me numb

I lost a best friend and felt all that

Cryin' on his open casket while I knelt on that

I had a best man picked out for my weddin'

But instead of gettin' married, I carried guilt and left all that

A vagabond that broke a bond for Boca Raton

Who all along regretted he never kept all that

I left everythin' behind but this engagement ring and a frozen heart

I'm standin' in the fire to melt all that, yeah

Ash and dust

Everythin' I care about enough (burn)

Burnin' up

Nothin' left of who I thought I was

I was

I, I, I was (yeah, burn)

Lash out

Need to take a breath and calm down

Try to regulate, don't know how

Wasn't taught that in my house

Kids of my own, I step back

Look at those smiles and feel sad

Hope they don't wind up like dad

Stuck in this loop like I am

I've called you, never heard back

After everythin' we've been through, the good and the bad

You're 'bout to throw it all away and overreact

Because I overreacted, karma I guess

My temper gets the best of me

A part of me that I wish I knew how to get rid of

It's the issue I have, my MO

Say I need you and I love you to death

Then turn around and go and treat you like you nothin' but trash, I know

I know I messed that part up, but

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know

Yeah, I know

Sometimes, I lash out

Need to take a breath and calm down

Try to regulate, don't know how

Wasn't taught that in my house

Kids of my own, I step back

Look at those smiles and feel sad

Hope they don't wind up like dad

Stuck in this loop like I am, I -